Whoopi Goldbergis recalling her cocaine addiction in the 1980s.
Goldberg says Hollywood circles highly encouraged substance abuse during social gatherings.
Los Angeles and New York started to redefine what recreational drug use meant in the 80s, she writes.
Whoopi Goldberg on ‘The View’.Lou Rocco/ABC via Getty
Lines of cocaine were laid across tables and bathroom counters for the taking.
I thought I could handle the cocaine thing, the Oscar winner continues.
It didnt seem dangerous.
Whoopi Goldberg.Ben Gabbe/Getty
Everybody seemed to have access to it, even on TV and movie sets.
The cops were never going to raid a studio either.
I fell into the deep well of cocaine and sank to a new low, she writes.
Cocaine started to kick my ass.
Id go to work and realize I was getting sloppy.
I didnt like it.
I knew it wasnt good.
At one point, I hallucinated something was under my bed and Id be attacked if I got up.
So I didnt move out of bed for 24 hours.
That kind of s— doesnt end pretty.
Theres only so long a person can hold their bladder.
Goldbergs ultimate wake-up call came at a New York hotel.
I was staying in a very upscale hotel in Manhattan for my birthday.
Somebody had given me an ounce of cocaine.
I was sitting on the closet floor, just putting it up my nose.
I didnt hear the housekeeper knock or let herself in the room to clean it up.
She opened the closet door, Goldberg continues.
She screamed and backed up and looked like she was going to run.
I had to get her quickly and have a go at calm down.
She was staring at my face as I talked.
Once she understood it was my room, she calmed down and left.
I looked at myself in the mirror near the door and saw cocaine all over my face.
Ben Gabbe/Getty
Goldberg cites her mother and her daughter as her primary inspirations for getting clean.
I was letting something else run my life and take me over.
WTF are you doing?
Get up, get out, and fix your life.
Youve been sitting in a closet for two days.
Not good at all.
The actress also said that she felt fortunate that she was able to kick coke fairly quickly.
I didnt want my kid to think her mom was an addict, she says.
I didnt want my mom to think her daughter was an addict.
I thought,Okay, this is the exchange.
This is what its going to look like.
If you want to stay alive, you gotta be okay with this.
