Brad Pitt and a crew of international assassins ride the die-hard rails in a gleeful neon thriller.

Who needs verbs when you have katanas,Bad Bunny, andBrad Pittsmirking in a bucket hat?

Can it really be that easy?

Bullet Train

Brad Pitt and Aaron Taylor-Johnson in ‘Bullet Train’.Scott Garfield/Sony

Dear reader, it cannot.

(Rarely has Shannon’s Beethoven hair and shark-eyed stare felt so ideally tailored to a role).

)Bullet Traindoesn’t have a destination, really, or a moral imperative other than mayhem.

But it’s got a ticket to ride.Grade: B+

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