“I think my body just went into shock.
I just didn’t even comprehend what was happening.”
How did everything come crashing down so soon?
Helen Li of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
Who was she planning to align with before the game started?
And why was her tribe so terrible at reading body language?
We asked Helen about all that and more on the morning after her televised exit.
Helen Li and Jeff Probst on “Survivor 44'.Robert Voets/CBS
The Helen Li experience starts now!
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Okay, Helen.
Why are you here talking to me now?
The Tika tribe of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
HELEN LI:What went wrong, Dalton?
How confident were you feeling walking into Tribal Council?
I was not 100 percent confident.
Helen Li on “Survivor 44'.Robert Voets/CBS
I was trying not to be super paranoid on the first vote.
I thought that I should trust my alliance.
And then itwasmy vote and I was like, “Oh, it’s me.
The Tika tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
That’s what it is.
I’m a huge sore loser.
it’s possible for you to ask anyone that’s ever played a board game with me.
you might ask my boyfriend.
I’m a super competitive person.
This has obviously been the biggest dream.
I’ve been watching this show for over a decade.
So, I think my body just went into shock.
I just didn’t even comprehend what was happening.
So, [I really] don’t recommend.
Did it take you a while to get through to that other side?
Were you kind of stewing at Ponderosa?
Yeah, Ponderosa, post-game.
It’s been nine months and I’m still probably not 100 percent over it.
I think every person goes intoSurvivorbeing like, “Wow, I was cast.
That was the hard part.
Now I just trust myself and trust that I’m meant for this.”
Everyone feels like they’re meant to be the Sole Survivor.
It’s a huge rude awakening when that’s not the case, and, yeah, it sucks.
All you have is what they’ve said to you and whether or not you believe them.
I knew that Yam was iffy.
I knew that Carolyn was not on my side.
I never had her either.
We were very conscious of the image that we were a duo before we even became that close.
We almost tried to distance ourselves and work through Carson as like a liaison.
And so both Sarah and Carson were definitely close number ones.
Bruce was really high on my list.
He has a great smile, just amazing vibes.
I was really looking forward to working with Bruce.
Obviously, verydevastated that he went out so earlyin the way that he did.
Not the best start to the game.
We love watching Carolyn, but we’re just getting snippets.
Tell me what it’s like living with someone like that 24-7.
I never met anyone likeCarolynbefore.
I don’t think I ever will.
She’s one-in-a-million and just so genuine and unfiltered.
Literally, what you see on the television is what you get.
But she actually in all of her confessionals is quite aware, very strategic.
So I thought she was just such an interesting person.
She also, I don’t think, ever really trusted me.
But she’s amazing and she’s such good television and I wish we could have worked together.
That would’ve been amazing.
Why didn’t she trust you?
The funny thing is, I consider myself a very emotional person.
I think she viewed us more as like game bots without emotion because of that.
Which is funny because I think I’m such an emotional person outside of that game.
It’s all relative.
You’re grading on a curve here.So it turns out your entire tribe is terrible at reading body language.
Who did you think had the birdcage idol?
Honestly, I wasn’t sure.
I also suspected Yam, just because he’s really tricky and I know he was searchinghardfor that idol.
Tika did not sleep.
She was actually low on my suspicion list.
How long did it take you to solve the Savvy puzzle and how confident were you?
I think we had, like, 15 minutes.
We were pretty sure by then, but we got it pretty quickly.
One thing is that Tika at night it was likethe Purge.
So that was one thing.
Tell Bruce to duck his head.
[Laughs]I don’t know.
I think that just set our game on such a different path than I had envisioned.
That would’ve been one.
I mean, you were looking good at those challenges.
Wish we could have seen you in a few more of those.
I would’ve crushed it, Dalton.
Now, we’ll never know.
Unless you go back.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
