It feels like the audience is about to be transported to Xanadu.

The Material Girl ranks among her biggest and most famous collectors, along withBarbra StreisandandJack Nicholson.

And yet, she loves him desperately-ish.

Eden Espinosa

Eden Espinosa in ‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman

Their wedded bliss is interrupted by the Bolshevik Revolution and its corresponding number, Our Time.

The number is so tone-deaf and over-the-top that it feels almost like a parody of a musical.

From there,Lempickadoesnt get much better, though there are flashes of what couldve been.

Eden Espinosa and the cast of LEMPICKA

‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman

It sounds as if youre listening to some AI version of what a musical should be.

But it never digs deep enough into any of those themes to give them any weight.

Theyre just ideas being tossed about a crowded stage in service of one forgettable song after another.

Eden Espinosa and Andrew Samonsky

Eden Espinosa and Andrew Samonsky in ‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman

Again, Lady Gaga comes to mind, and not in the best way.

But she truly shines on the slower numbers, The Most Beautiful Bracelet and Stay.

A perfect example is the oft-repeated line, Dont let them see your brush strokes.

Lempicka

‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman

Lempicka

‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman

Lempicka

‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman

Lempicka

Amber Iman and Eden Espinosa in ‘Lempicka’.Matthew Murphy and Evan Zimmerman