The NCIS team uncovers paternity secrets and a new cure for gnomophobia.

Bottle of champagne: $200

Extreme adventure package: $500.

Engagement ring: $20,000.

NCIS “Left Unsaid” Wilmer Valderrama and Gary Cole

Wilmer Valderrama, Gary Cole.Sonja Flemming/CBS

Im so glad Tim has a fellow nerd to McGeek out with!

Sonja Flemming/CBS

How on earth did Derek afford that much ice?

The teams forced to ponder it without Parkers usual breakfast pastry contribution.

Parker grabs the chance to embrace the healthy habits of his highly disciplined roommate.

But his highly disciplined roommate cant stop eyeing Knight and McGees french fries.

Turns out, even Nick enjoys cheat days not that hes willing to admit that to Parker.

The man angrily tells the slacks-wearing law-enforcement dudes that they arent the femme package he paid for.

(I bet slacks-wearing law-enforcement dudes are intended for a room with adifferentduct-taped person waiting for them.)

Our missing petty officer bought the three-day kidnapping experience.

Yet someone clearly knew, because he received a ransom demand for Derek three days ago.

That Bold Ventures client was right!

Never trust a clown!

THANK YOU, BUT NO.

Her kidnappings too much for Davenport, who gives in and pays the ransom.

At least Dereks safe, tied to a chair in the next room.

Tanya throws herself into his arms.

Hes whisked away to the hospital, and Tanya stays behind to give her statement to Parker and Knight.

Then Knight summons him to look into Mickeys trunk, where theyre both shocked by what they see.

Geez, this poor guy had commitment issues before?

You willneversee this man in a ring shop again.

Bad girlfriend lost, caring father found.

Sounds like a happy ending for Derek!

Torres hides his relief and refuses to let on that hes just as relieved as Parker.

Lets see some more roommate hijinks this season before all that mold is swept away!