Then something even stranger happens.
In EW’s exclusive excerpt fromDelicate Condition, Anna is recovering from the miscarriage when something particularly strange occurs.
The dogs swarmed as soon as we made it through the back door, like always.
‘Delicate Condition’ author Danielle Valentine.Credit: Amber Martello; Sourcebooks
“I’ll get them; you just head upstairs,” Dex said through the chaos.
I slipped up the stairs while they were distracted.
I loved the dogs, but I couldn’t face them right now.
Their little trusting faces would only make me more aware of all the ways I’d failed.
I wanted to be alone with my grief.
Talia’s house was labyrinthine.
I stared at the vitamins for a moment, feeling sick.
I’d taken them religiously.
Not that it had done me any good.
I climbed into bed and squeezed my eyes shut.
For a second, I thought sleep would be kind, that it would take pity on me.
But then I saw the bathroom, the bloody tile.
I saw the red lipstick smeared across her front teeth.
My eyes snapped back open.
How was I ever supposed to close my eyes again?
Outside, the snow was getting heavier as thick wet flakes stuck to all the windows.
They looked like feathers, and they made me think of down coming loose from pillows, of suffocating.
That’s what I felt like now, like I couldn’t breathe.
I wanted my mom, I realized.
The phone rang once, twice.
“Are you okay?”
Siobhan said by way of answer.
She sounded terrible, her voice raspy and thin.
I wondered, vaguely, whether she’d been out late the night before.
“Olympia told me you called.
I’ve been so worried.”
I had a vague memory of speaking with a woman who’d answered Siobhan’s phone earlier that evening.
She’d called me honey and asked if I was okay.
I must have scared her to death.
“Sorry,” I murmured.
“I mean, tell Olympia I’m sorry.
I didn’t mean to scare her.”
“Don’t worry about her; she’s seen worse at the center.”
The center, right.
Now I remembered where I’d heard her voice before.
She was one of the women from the birthing center Siobhan had told me about.
I could picture her clearly, a tall woman with intensely kind eyes and a low, soothing voice.
Now, I felt even worse about scaring her.
“Anna,” Siobhan was saying.
“What happened?”
My chest felt suddenly tight.
It was the way she saidwhat happenedthat did it.
I tried to get myself under control, but it was no use.
I released a sudden sharp exhale that was already halfway to a sob.
And then it was all over.
I told her everything.
I’d been planning to keep it short but talking felt better than I’d thought it would.
“What do you need?”
Siobhan asked when I’d finished.
like, Anna, let me help you."
Her voice was barely a whisper.
She didn’t sound capable of getting me anything.
I should’ve told her to get some sleep, that we could talk in the morning.
“Oh, Anna…”
I felt guilty as soon as the words left my mouth.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my shoulders shaking.
“I shouldn’t have said that.
I just…I really loved her, Siobhan.
I felt like I already knew her, and I…I just can’t believe she’s gone.
I can’t believe…” I had to stop for a moment.
I couldn’t breathe; I was crying too hard.
My mouth dropped open, a wordless scream.
I’d never believed the world would be this cruel.
And now, all of that was gone.
“I just feel so…so desperate,” I said when I could talk again.
New tears were already blurring my eyes.
If I wasn’t careful, I was going to lose it all over again.
“I’d give anything to have her back.
I know it’s hard to believe that now, but it will.
I tried to make myself believe it.
“I’ll do everything I can to ensure it does.”
I cleared my throat and said, “Right.
Your friends at the birthing center, Olympia and the others.”
“Yes, them, and anything else you need.
Just name it.”
“Can you come out here?”
I hadn’t realized how badly I wanted that until the words left my mouth.
I need you.”
Give me the address and I’ll come as soon as I can."
It was another cramp, leftover pain from the miscarriage.
I lurched forward, groaning, and kneaded my side with my thumbs.
“Come here.”
I scooped her up.
She licked my chin as I dragged my heavy body out of bed and slipped into the hallway.
The countertops were made of some expensive stone that repelled dirt.
I’d had the thought before that I could kill someone in this kitchen without leaving a trace.
It was like the house itself was an accomplice.
I heard Dex’s voice murmuring in some other room.
Peanut Butter and Oz were probably curled up with him on the couch getting head rubs.
But then I remembered the doubt in his voice when he asked, “Is that what you want?
“and a hollow space opened inside of my chest.
I’d already eaten the fruit, but there was still a box of chocolates left untouched.
I ripped them open and shoved a few into my mouth.
Talia once mentioned that her mother had kept all her baby things, every last onesie and bib.
I’d been fascinated.
I didn’t have anything left over from when I was a baby.
I took another swig of bourbon.
I crossed the kitchen and swung the door open, thinking,To hell with it.
The basement was dark.
I smelled oak and something dank that made my nose wrinkle.
I still had all those hormones pumping through me, increasing my sense of smell.
Pregnancy hormones didn’t go away when your pregnancy did.
It was like a really messed up parting gift.
Happy yelped in my arms, scared.
I put her down and she immediately scampered back up the stairs to the safety of the kitchen.
A musty, forgotten smell rose up from the basement.
My skin prickled with fear.
I shivered and walked faster.
The basement wasn’t finished.
It didn’t matter how warm we kept this place; winter kept sneaking in.
I studied the labels until I found a bin that readbaby thingsin Talia’s small spidery handwriting.
I went to unlatch the lid, then froze.
My hand was trembling, bourbon sloshing up against the sides of my glass.
Maybe it would be better to let the world burn down.
Maybe it was time to create something new in its place.
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why couldn’t anyone tell me what I’d done to deserve this?
Why couldn’t I fix it?
I just want to do a couple quick tests.
The memory hit so suddenly that I felt as though I’d tilted sharply backwards.
A witch in a fairy tale, licking her lips.
I clenched my eyes shut.
I didn’t want to think about her right now.
It was too much; I couldn’t take it.
But it was too late.
Her voiced echoed through my head, taunting me.
I just want to take a quick look at your uterus.
Can I get you to lie back and lift up your shirt?
The skin on my belly burned with the memory of her hands on me,touchingme.
Was she the same woman who’d climbed into bed with me back in Brooklyn?
But I knew she was small and dark-haired like Meg had been.
And the idea that there might be more than one of them was too terrible to contemplate.
Why had she come to my hospital room?
How had she even gotten inside?
What had she done to me?
That last question was the big one.
She hadn’t come all the way out to the Hamptons just to scare me.
She was here for a reason.What was it?
I couldn’t stay standing any longer.
From the corner of my eye I noticed a black beetle creeping up the wall, antennae twitching.
I felt a tickle on my skin imagining those tiny legs creeping over my arm, up my back.
The pain that rose inside of me was different from the pain I’d felt during the miscarriage.
It was different from any pain I’d ever felt.
It was like someone had pulled my heart out of my chest.
I wasn’t a person anymore, just a shell, a body.
Crying had left my eyes puffy, and it was getting hard to keep them open.
Also, I thought I might be a little drunk.
Apparently, all it took anymore was half a glass of bourbon.
I didn’t want to think about this anymore.
I wanted to sleep.
Sleep would be so good.
Maybe I wouldn’t ever have to wake up…
I heard a wet thumping sound somewhere in the darkness.
The water heater turning on?
God I hoped so.
Groaning, I opened my eyes.
It wasn’t moving.
Several long minutes passed.
It felt like cramps or nausea at first, that strange, churning sensation of something shifting.
I sat up, worried I was about to be sick…
But then the movement became sharper, clearer.
The skin on my belly shifted from one side to the other.
Staring down at it, my breath caught, a sour taste inching up the back of my throat.
It didn’t feel like a flutter, like everyone said it would.
It felt like something waking up.
Learn ConditioninEW’s exclusive interview with Danielle Valentine.
The book will hit shelves Aug. 1 from Sourcebooks.
