Archie’s a union man!
And Jug is… broken?
Sometimes I wonder what the residents of Riverdale would do if there wasn’t a war to fight.
KJ Apa on ‘Riverdale’.Jack Rowand/The CW
How would they spend their days?
Let’s break down this week’sRiverdale, one war at a time.
So naturally, Archie wants to stop him.
How will he stop him?
Tabitha’s idea is to unionize the workers.
I know it doesn’t sound very exciting, but that’s only because it’s not.
“SIR HE FOUGHT A BEAR.
Betty vs. Betty …
Regardless, he’s here, and Alice begs Betty to spend some time with him.
She asks him all about his inner darkness to make it learn more about herself.
Until finally, she has to stop Alice from smothering him with a pillow.
Instead, Betty comes up with a plan to save him, which is where Veronica comes into play.
So maybe Veronica can filter it out?
And I guess it’s a good thing they’re not at an actual hospital?
So does he go back to prison now?
Toni and Fangs vs. Kevin
Yes, this is still happening.
Toni then grabs her Serpent jacket and her brass knuckles, and she gets that pacifier back!
She then informs Fangs that the Serpents aren’t going to change.
It’s back to the old ways!
And that means inducting baby Anthony, a newborn, into a gang!
Because if that won’t prove they’re good parents, nothing will!
Fangs, super turned on by this news, accepts Toni’s marriage proposal.
As for Kevin, Percival doing his best Maury Povich impersonation informs him that he’snotbaby Anthony’s father.
To her surprise, it doesn’t involve a cloak, but it does involve holding your breath.
Heather wants to stay too.
Jughead vs. (you guessed it!)
Instead, everyone’s thoughts are constantly flooding his mind.
I suppose becausethatJughead isforever sitting in the bunker, writing?
Somehow, I feel like things are about to get even weirder.
