A lot has changed onSurvivorover 44 seasons.
There’s no longer a hilarious trunk of fake money sitting at Tribal Council.Jeff Probstditched the cowboy hat.
Players don’t randomly sport sunglasses.
The cast of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
Frankly, they should bring all of these things backtout de suite,but that’s not the point.
The trunk of cash is gone.
As is the cowboy hat.
The cast of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
Now it’s time to get rid of something else.
To be clear, I don’t mean to just stop doing puzzles.
(These poor producers can’t win.
Jeff Probst and the cast of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
Like a perpetually ungrateful teenager, I even complain when they do what I ask.)
This time, I’m not complaining about there being too many puzzles.
I’ve found something completely new to complain about!
The Soka tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
What John Kirhoffer and his crack team of challenge producers (shout out to Milhouse and A.B.)
need to do is immediately retire everySurvivorpuzzle and start from scratch.
Some of these puzzles are super, duper cool!
They are works of art!
And they also need to go.
Because of folks like Carson.
And that master of the dark arts, David Wright.
No disrespect to that power trio.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
But perhaps he merely got distracted by the looming presence of Reem Daly.
Not that I’m all that hung up on the “fairness” angle.
Contestants have prepared more or less than others since the very beginning of this show.
But this does seem a bit different.
Well, guess what?
Players have gotten too comfortable on the puzzles.
At least some of them have.
(If I knew how to operate a 3D printer, that is.)
No more old puzzles.
Throw them in a big pile in the challenge graveyard and light the match.
From now on, all-new puzzles every two seasons.
It’s too late now!
Zane Knight’s time has come and gone!
The point is… ALL NEW PUZZLES!
And they can start by finally staging my long-suggested underwater puzzle idea.
Doing a puzzle underwater!
C’mon, that’s pretty cool, right?
Just my two cents.
Which is probably all it’s worth.
(That was a hint!)
“I’m the most valuable player, the MVP!”
“And if anybody doesn’t see that, they are blind.”
WE MUST PROTECT JAIME AT ALL COSTS!
- Josh’s game wasmessy like Marvin.
My best guess is it could have been Carolyn.
By the way, did you readmy mid-game interview with Carolyn?
Because you definitely should.
Peak Carolyn, there.
- Wow, Josh and Yam Yam really did not get along out on the island.
Josh even told us straight up that he has “a personal vendetta against him.”
- As for Josh, he leaves on day 13.
Which, in the new era ofSurvivor, is actually half the season.
Unfortunately, he’ll never get to wear one of those super-dope block merge buffs.
And he’ll never get to name his tribe Tubuli.
Goodies like the entire cast revealing what theywant to name the merge tribe.
Goodies like mymid-game interview with Carolyn.Goodies like an exclusive deleted scene.
Go feast on those goodies and I’ll be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
