What’s going on?
Well, I certainly got that one wrong.
Who could forget my SUPER confident Betsy Bolan pick forSurvivor: Samoa?
Matt Blankinship and Claire Rafson on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
Still, this one hurts.
I saw something in Claire Rafson’s pre-game press.
She seemed loose, at ease.
Claire Rafson on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
I figured she would be a social dynamo.
I thought she looked athletic… which appears to have been a misread of epic proportions.
Could not have been more wrong.
The Ratu tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
First Tribal Council she attends GONE!
But Claire was doing what she thought gave her team the best chance to avoid Tribal Council.
And it was a strategy that worked for as long as Soka kept winning.
The Soka tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
But, unfortunately, their copying skills were simply not as strong as Tika’s.
Of course, we didn’t need to wait for the vote to know that Claire was a goner.
I’m doing this for her and that is why I’m going to win this game."
The Tika tribe on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
So that was tip-off number one.
and Heidi just kind of nodded her head like someone being filmed for a hostage video.
Claire followed that up with, “Are you still at the place you were before?”
The cast of ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
to which Heidi looked away while answering “I think so.
“I think so???
?Let me just put that through my handySurvivorTranslator 3000 machine and see what pops out.
Ah yes, that translates roughly to “Girl, you’re cooked.”
(Where were all the Tika body reading experts when you need them?)
I think sois perhaps the most blatant tell imaginable.
We know women have historically been voted out early in greater numbers than men.
The “new era ofSurvivor” is even worse.
Ten of the 12 people voted out of their tribe first in seasons 41 through 44 have been women.
That is pretty damn stark.
Ten out of 12!
And now we have our latest victim.
She will be missed for her epic nerdmance eye rolls, if nothing else.
If that’s the case, then Carson clearly saw himself as the odd person out in that alliance.
With that in mind, let’s hear it for the public domain!!!
I don’t know why he was singing the Canadian national anthem.
Perhaps it was a shout-out to all his homies in Saskatoon.
(Are there homies in Saskatoon?)
None of those were the real reason for Kane’s impromptuCanadian Idolaudition.
Then again, theydidallow Robb Zbacnik to strangle poor Clay Jordan onSurvivor Thailand, so maybe anything goes?)
Kane is not the only renaissance person on Ratu.
I actually support live worm-eating.
At least shethoughtit was a hidden immunity idol.
(Maybe it was Kane’s singing that lured him over to that large rock?)
Simply uncalled for behavior from the bearded wonder… but, also, hilarious.
Danny Dynamite
Survivorcan wreak havoc on your digestive system.
Many players have been completely undone by what can only be described as #SevereGastrointestinalDistress.
You’re not eating enough.
Then you’re eating too much.
You’re consuming weird things you’re not used to consuming.
There are a lot of ways things can go wrong.
Which is why I would not make a habit of eating parchment while out on the island.
I mean, it certainlylookedcool in a this-message-will-self-destruct sort of way, but let me say… completely unnecessary.
Like, just bury it.
People bury things out thereall the time.No need whatsoever to eat it.
I’m being 100 percent serious.
Here is a guy who knows he’s on a TV show.
And Danny wasn’t done.
Danny then also told Heidi his quest to sow as much misinformation as possible.
“Yeah,” responded Claire.
“As long as we get to the next immunity challenge, maybe I’ll compete then.
I want our best shot, and I really trust these people.”
And the more you allow the other folks to bond together through hard-fought wins and losses.
In essence, you become the outsider.
The challenge itself had a lot of different elements.
It was on land!
It was at sea!
There was swimming, and rolling, and digging, and unlocking, and puzzle-solving.
One-armed Matthew and dungeon master Kane dominated that last stage, giving Ratu the victory.
What does this say about their compatibility?
Is this the beginning of the end?
But neither Frannie, nor Matt, nor Sy Snootles would pay the price for the loss.
What was interesting is that everyone seemed to want Josh out.
Everyone except one person Danny.
Well, that’s not technically true.
I am going to go out on a limb and guess that Josh also did not want Josh out.
Yet they didn’t.
All because of one dude.
That is a lot of power, especially for someone who once compared himself to anextra fromAmerican Pie 5.
Will Danny’s dominance continue?
Or just keep your eyes on myInstagramandTwitteraccounts to get alert a right when everything drops.
Enjoy all that, and I’ll be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
