Dee puts game before love.
Thats all everyone kept saying on this weeks episode ofSurvivor 45.
No, they were not discussing the rap sheets of formerSurvivor: The Australian Outbackcontestants.
Dee Valladares and Austin Li Coon on Survivor 45'.CBS
That wasnt savage; thats just brilliant production work.
And why stop there?
Coming up with ways to inflict suffering on reality TV contestants really is my favorite hobby.
Drew Basile and Austin Li Coon.CBS
These losers over on loser island got off easy only having to watch a flyby if you ask me.
You want to know what is REALLY savage?
CBS
Dee Valladares is a freakin love assassin.
Dee Valladares and Julie Alley.CBS
And you have to love her for it.
And what did Dee do?
And then this week we had pretty much the exact same scenario in reverse.
Drew Basile, Julie Alley, Austin Li Coon, and Katurah Topps.CBS
This time, Dee and Julie were voting for Austins BFF Drew.
And Dee had to decide whether to return the favor and give Austin a heads up.
If she did, it could preserve her relationship professional and romantic with Austin.
Jeff Probst, Julie Alley, Drew Basile, Jake OKane, Dee Valladares, Katurah Topps, and Austin Li Coon.CBS
But it could also undo everything if Austin played his idol for his buddy.
Unless the edit is screwing with us which is possible it appears Dee decided against telling him.
Its brutal even if Deedidtell Austin… which is definitely possible.
Drew Basile.CBS
Thats possible, and well find out soon enough if that is indeed the way it went down.
Either way, its an absolute knockout blow by Dee.
Her ally in Julie was set to go three days ago.
CBS
Dee is there to WIN THIS GAME, people.
That doesnt mean they cant have a blast playing the role of spoiler.
Hell, Jake is already through to the fire-making contest at least thanks to his crotch idol.
The cast of ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.CBS
(Im sureJeff Probstcan’t waitto be handed that thing, considering where it has been.)
But its not yet time to look ahead to next week.
Read on to find out!
The cast of ‘Survivor: Winners at War’.Robert Voets/CBS
And the Cable Ace Award goes to… Said Dee, “I dont think Im a good actress.
Thats okay, Dee neither do we!
Oh, I kid cause I love.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen. X’.Monty Brinton/CBS/Getty Images
Hopefully, Drew was including himself in that assessment.
I will say, I did not have Julie tackling Drew on mySurvivorBingo card.
Again, not a complaint.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Cook Islands’.ABC
Over a barrel
This is just a cool-looking reward challenge.
(Maybe he thought it was a sandwich?)
I guess it must have worked, because he got to the slide puzzle first and won reward.
Carolyn Wiger on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
But then Austin did something very, very odd.
AllowingSurvivorto air all his awkward childhood photos?
No, that would come later.
The Belo tribe on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
When told by the Hostmaster General to pick someone to join him on reward, he selected Dee.
Okay, makes sense.
Again, the logic makes sense.
Robert Voets/CBS
I always argue to not just bring your best friends on rewards.
But in the name of Francesca Hogi, dont say that out loud!
A rare slip from Austin.
Timothy Kuratek/CBS/Getty Images
Or maybe its not so rare.
It seems my retroactive winner jinx may be doing its job after all.
Idol thoughts
I dont love an idol being introduced this late in the game.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Worlds Apart’.CBS/Getty Images
Its too much power too close to the end.
But if someonewasgoing to find one, Jake is kind of the perfect person to do so.
And if someonewasgoing to find one, best they do it while almost completely naked.
Sandra Diaz-Twine and Boston Rob Mariano of ‘Survivor: Island of the Idols’.Robert Voets/CBS
I like Jake finding it because Jake is a bit of chaos agent.
But you give that man an idol and all of a sudden he becomes bolder.
(At least Im pretty sure I get paid for this.)
There is nothing I love more in life than secret compartments.
Okay, maybe old embarrassing college footage of reality TV contestants in their underwear, but thats about it.
More secret compartments, yo!
Id put one at the water well.
There would be so many secret compartments in a Dalton RossSurvivorseason.
Hell, Id even put Probst in one.
Youve been warned, Jimmy Quigley!
For most people as long as possible meant just a few minutes.
The best strategy seemed to be standing super still… unless your name was Drew.
I dont know what Drew was doing up there.
Some sort of dance?
The Funky Chicken, perhaps?
Actually, what am I talking about?
That wasnt Drew up there at all.
That was clearly Basile!
The man was a raging one-man party up on that thing just letting it all hang out!
Does Dee have the best resume heading into the finale?
Its hard to hard to argue against her.
Also, why would you want to argue against Dee?
That woman is delightful!
What is Drew’s analogy for getting voted out of ‘Survivor’?
(Note: It wont.)
Drew even compared himself and Austin to J.T.
and Stephen, or Tyson and Gervase (although he neglected to mention who was the J.T.
and Tyson in that equation and who was the Stephen and Gervase).
And in their defense, for a long time, itdidlook super easy.
Seriously, the best.
And that sets the table for finale week.
As always, we have anexclusive deleted scenefrom this weeks episode for your perusal.
you might also read whatHostmaster General Jeff Probst had to say about that savage flyover.
Okay, enough stalling!
Time for our updated season rankings!
Read on and see!
That said, rankings can and often do change a bit after the finale.)
‘Survivor’ Season-by-Season Rankings from best to worst
1.
AfterMicronesiaaired, I named it the bestSurvivorseason ever.
So then I returned that to the number one spot.
If I wanted to watch one season again, it would beMicronesia.
If you ask me which is the mostimportantseason, well, obviously it’sBorneo.
3.Survivor: Heroes vs. VillainsThe Russell vs. Boston Rob feud made for the best pre-merge run of episodes ever.
And the greatness just kept on coming.
Filled with huge memorable moments like Tyson voting himself off, J.T.
giving Russell his immunity idol, and Parvati handing outtwoimmunity idols at one Tribal Council.
I know many people would consider this No.
1, but it’s all returnees.
For me, the fresh blood ofMicronesiakeeps that season higher.
(Maybe not well at all times, but at least they were playing.)
moment to a truly exhilarating season.
That’s what it all comes down to.
And it’s not just Christian, who was one of the most universally loved contestants of all-time.
That is an amazing 9 out of 20 that I would easily welcome back on another season.
Often, that’s all a season needs.
And that really is first and foremost the reason Davidvs.
Goliathbecame an all-time great.
But there were other trophies to hand out as well.
The editing job done by producers was perhaps the show’s best ever.
They experimented with new techniques that served to freshen up the franchise in its 37th season.
They added comedic flourishes that were totally unnecessary yet improved the episodes nonetheless.
They cut back and forth between players and stories in ways they never had before.
A top 5 finish.
6.Survivor: Cambodia Second ChanceThe first thing to note aboutCambodiais how well all the production twists turned out.
Letting fans vote in the cast?
Hiding idols at challenges?
I think you all know how I feel about that.
Tempting people to quit an immunity challenge for a mystery vote steal advantage?
All the tribe switcheroos?
They played out to perfection.
TheSurvivorproducers always throw a bunch of twists out there.
Usually, some work and some don’t.
This season, they all paid dividends.
I also appreciated how hard the bulk of the cast was playing.
Usually, you get a small handful of big-time gamers.
Another plus: The votes were completely unpredictable from week to week, leading to some truly crazy Tribals.
Sure, the challenges were a bit blah, but still, a rousing and triumphant success.
(MaybePirate Masteris to blame for that?)
Obviously, there was a stellar cast with big personalities.
Fairplay not only pulling off the dead grandma lie but also getting drunk at Tribal Council.
Osten becoming the first person to lay down his torch.
Savage willing his tribe to win.
And Sandra getting in faces.
It was all delicious.
Some people, like Ben and Michele, had something to prove.
His return alone was one of the best reality TV stories ever.
Go back and watch it.
It’s amazing on both a technical and an emotional level.
And Tony Vlachos cemented his reputation as the most entertaining and dominant player of all time.
I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have a great winner on such an important season.
And itdidfeel special, even with its flaws.
I wish the show would shake things up like that more at the outset to keep contestants off-balance.
One of the best creative decisionsSurvivorever made was not panicking and reshuffling the tribes once Koror started dominating.
Also, I’d bring back Jolanda, Coby, Katie, and Ian back in a heartbeat.
Every single person added something.
That’s how you win a million dollars.
Possibly the least scenic camps inSurvivorhistory.
It just looked absolutely miserable.
And I still jump when Chicken gets voted out.
WhenMillennials vs. Gen Xstarted, most of us were like, “Yeah, it’s fine.
Not amazing, but not terrible either.”
But then things kept happening.
And everyone kept flipping on one another.
And everyone kept getting blindsided.
And everyone kept futilely using their idols for other people.
It was madness and chaos in the best way possible.
And what was so fascinating was that (with the exception of Michaela) nobody took their ouster personally.
This was a season remarkably free of any sort of fighting whatsoever.
None of the ugliness ofWorlds ApartorKaoh Rongpermeated the proceedings, even amongst all the lying and backstabbing.
Even Hannah was entertaining with her neurosis.
Even Ken was entertaining with his late-game cluelessness.
Bret gave us a touching moment where he came out as gay to Zeke.
Sunday outsmarted Adam and Hannah with a ruse at Tribal Council.
(However, I still can’t figure out why they went with three-person duels a.k.a.
truels and they definitely should have stopped RI at the merge.)
So why is it so high?
Because the casting and storylines that developed gave us people to root for and against something every greatSurvivorseason needs.
And that’s not all.
Seriously, that guy was straight gold in every episode.
BRING HIM BACK!!!!
There were some other problems early on as well, but what a difference a mutiny makes.
Then we had clearly defined people to root for and against.
There are other things to love as well.
Plus, just look at all the great first-time contestants (Parvati, Penner, Ozzy, Yul).
I love you, Billy.
But hear me out first before you Russell any feathers.
It was flat-out grating.
But everything post-merge was spectacular.
There were moves and countermoves galore down the homestretch.
Also, don’t overlook how great the bevy of water challenges was.
Should I push it down in the rankings due to the lackluster Reunion show that followed?
He was denied in the end, though, in the most controversial jury decision ever.
19.Survivor: TocantinsOkay, you may roll your eyes at Coach 1.0.
But imagine for a second this season without him.
His unintentional comedy single-handedly lifts this into middle of the pack territory for me.
However, the unlikely alliance between bookish northerner Fishbach and country boy J.T.
certainly made for a compelling thread throughout the season.
20.Survivor 44And here we are.
An all-time great character.
One of the most delightfully funny narrators in the show’s history.Frannie and Matt?
Arguably the most adorkable showmance couple ever.
The episodes also breathed well and did not get bogged down in too many advantages and idol hunts.
There was also more diversity in post-merge challenges, which was a plus.
So, with all that said, then why doesSurvivor 44barely crack the top 20?
That’s just bad luck.
I know I was.
I have no big complaints about this season at all.
It was a totally solid entry for the best reality TV franchise on the planet… just not transcendent.
21.Survivor 45Let me say this first: This is the best produced season in the new era ofSurvivor.
But it wasntjustthe extra runtime.
Other creative flourishes, like the return of the new and improved auction, were home runs.
It also featured one of the mostdeliciously devasting blindsides ever in Kellies ouster.
So ifSurvivor 45is the best produced season of the new era, why is it ranked below season 44?
Quite simply,CarolynandYam Yam.
(As always, this ranking could move up or down depending on what happens in the finale.)
The argument for ranking it lower would be the pure repetition factor.
Anytime you have a perpetual “been there, done that” feeling…that’s bad.
Especially when most of those twists and challenges were not great to begin with.
However, the producers did a much better job of editing and presenting that content.
Shane Powers should have been brought back forHeroes vs. Villains.
And theSecond Chanceseason, for that matter.
Seriously, what the hell?!?
Get that guy back on TV.
But I still can’t figure out how/why Bob Dawg didn’t get a bigger and better edit.
That guy is an absolute gas, whether in or outside of Casa de Charmin.
24.Survivor 41This may be the hardestSurvivorseason ever to rank.
Let’s get to the bad before the good.
That’s not good.
Which was a shame because when allowed to, this cast delivered in a huge way.
Early boots like Brad and J.D.
That’s a hell of a lineup right there.
Not that I thought all the changes were bad.
25.Survivor: Ghost IslandThis was another hard season to rank.
This idea was used a few years later onSurvivor South Africa: Immunity Island.)
And then there is the ending, which also has plusses and minuses.
So again, both good and bad.
Like I said, a hard season to rank.
But the ending was fantastic, and I was engaged throughout, even with the noted weaknesses.
I liked watching Kellyn act like a super-spaz.
I was fascinated with the Laurel and Donathan strategic push-and-pull.
Throw that all together and you end up in the middle of the pack.
26.Survivor 43Seasons 41 and 42 featured really dynamic casts and some really wonky production wrinkles.Survivor 43flipped the script completely.
For the most part, the game flow either by design or sheer luck worked out really well.
But the cast, while extremely likable, were not super propulsive.
Where were the fireworks?
Instead, we got a lot more gauzy, reach-for-the-Kleenex backstory photo montages, but little sizzle.
27.Survivor: Game ChangersWhat a weird season this was.
We were treated to two titans of the game (Tony and Sandra) going toe to toe.
But something was missing.
Said events were all exciting, but they failed to form a cohesive unit.
all gone before the merge.
And despite the gameplay and unpredictability down the stretch, that is kind of what happened.
And then there is what happened to Cirie in the finale.
(The fact that it happened to a true legend in Cirie made it even harder to swallow.)
But there is one thing I reallydiddig about this season, and that is the cast.
29.Survivor: The Australian OutbackAn overrated season in my book.
Pretty predictable boot order as well.
Dude didburn his hands off, though.
And, outside of one mind-bogglingly boring loved ones reward contest, the challenges were strong.
But now comes the bad news.
Like the majority ofSurvivornation, I was not a fan of the new final four fire-making twist.
That was a bummer.
31.Survivor: Kaoh RongNot one of the best seasons ever; not one of the worst.
That’s always exciting.
Working against this season is the fact that there simply were not enough transcendent players in the cast.
That’s a problem.
That said, man, were there some hate-fueled fireworks at those final few Tribal Councils.
The fact that so many unworthy players went so far is simply too damning.
35.Survivor: Redemption IslandThe first three episodes were dynamite, but then the fuse blew out.
36.Survivor: AfricaSome great challenges.
Not that much else was great.
37.Survivor: Edge of ExtinctionFlat.
That’s the best word I can think of to describe the season.
At least give them a place where they can go in the water!
Rafe was good for a few laughs, though.
Especially on rope obstacles.
39.Survivor: VanuatuI don’t blame producers: The battle of the sexes seemed like a fine enough concept.
This season just never took off.
That counts for something.
41.Survivor: One WorldLook, I have total respect for Kim’s game.
Like Tom inPalauand Rob inRedemption Island, she excelled strategically, socially, and physically.
Unfortunately, that is really the only good thing I can say about this season.
And that’s too bad because I do think the “One World” concept was a solid one.
But, man, what a thoroughly uninspiring cast.
Speaking of awful creative decisions…
44.Survivor: NicaraguaIt’s way down here for a few reasons.
- Splitting the tribes up by age and theMedallion of Powerwere both enormous flops.
)Nicaraguahad just too many unlikable players.
Two people quitting with only 11 days left.
No big memorable moments.
Unfortunately, it was people quitting, and that was memorable for all the wrong reasons.
45.Survivor: Island of the IdolsI’m a guy who tends to be pretty analytical.
But even I recognize that when it comes to rankingSurvivorseasons, it ultimately comes down to a feeling.
But nothing seemed fun in light of the far more serious issue that clearly outweighed the final game result.
Quite simply: It made the rest of the season impossible to enjoy.
And so here it sits.
Okay, its time to get out of here.
