But, I mean, it’s not good.
Previously on… the Survivor recap.
But who needs a recap, am I right?
Emily Flippen on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
Well… hopefullyyouneed a recap.
If not, then I’m out of a job.
What I mean to say is, who needs a recap of a recap?
Brandon Donlon on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
You want to read last week’s recap?
Then go right ahead!
They were everywhere, these montages.
Bruce Perreault on ‘Survivor 45’.CBS
I was happy when they went away.
But are they back?
Hopefully that was just a one-week refresher and not a part of our regularly scheduledSurvivor.
Drew Basile on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
But I’m actually kind of torn on having them back.
On one hand, they are gorgeously shot by director of photography Scott Duncan.
And a great tone-setter for the show.
Sean Edwards on ‘Survivor’.Robert Voets/CBS
But again, that’s more time we could spend with close-ups on Dee’s ginormous toe.
That’s a tough call.
Well, that’s not entirely true.
Kendra McQuarrie on ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
And my response is always the same: I know.
Isn’t it amazing?
It’s not just that I enjoy watching people suffer.
Brandon Donlon of ‘Survivor 45’.Robert Voets/CBS
I mean… Ido, but it’s not just that.
It’s seeing what they do and how they react after bottoming out in every category possible.
For instance, take Emily… c’mon!
Haha, that’s a joke.
You all know I love Emily.
It’s a different kind of energy.
A super-negative-glass-half-empty energy, to be sure, but a different energy nonetheless.
Such a savvy move by Kaleb to feed Emily a lifeline and take her under his wing.
He just took someone dead set on getting him out and turned her into an ally.
He also protected himself in case shedidfind an idol.
But she was also astute enough to note how difficult real change can be.
For her sake, I hope she’s successful in that change.
For our sake as viewers, maybe not.
Mixing it up
I’m not really ready to talk about Brandon.
I’m working up to it, I swear.
But I’m not there yet.
However, I do want to touch on two things when it comes to the Lulu Beware Advantage.
First off, very interesting decision by Brandon to not open it.
Well… maybe not the ladder.
I don’t think he liked the ladder.
Not a big fan, I’m guessing.
Or, now that I think about it, the puzzle.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
He’s been dreaming about this every night for well over a decade.
So for him to stand there with an advantage in his hand andnotopen it was positively shocking.
Beware Advantages as we have seen again here don’t always offer immediate rewards.
They can take time to procure.
And during that time, you have no vote.
I’m not saying this was it.
And I would have 100 percent opened the damn package.
But if that is what he was thinking I get it.
You all may remember me bitching and complaining back in season 43 about the beads.
Why not have three different tasks for three different tribes?
Let me be crystal clear about this: That is absolutely brilliant.
Not exactly easy at the center of camp where other players always congregate.
Really looking forward to seeing how that plays out.
As for what awaits Belo?
No idea, but at least we know it won’t be the same thing all over again.
Loosey Brucey
Speaking of Belo, what the hell is going on with Bruce?
I don’t know what the truth is.
And why was Bruce specifically doing the Robot for Brando?
Is he calling Brando out as an artificial intelligence-loving nerd?
Is Brando a terrible dancer?
And do I really need to keep referring to him all season as Brando?
Did someone ask him to do that?
Is it a callback to an earlier joke that didn’t make the final cut?
Andthenhe decided the bit needed evenmoreso proceeded to tack on a game of peekaboo to seal the comedic deal.
Will they side with the women, or with the men/robots?
Perhaps the stars have already determined it.
Matchy matchy
A surprising call by Bruce to not play for the advantage during the journey.
I don’t hate it.
Plus, Drew’s advantage was notthatgreat.
It wasn’t an idol.
So I think what Drew did was ultimately the best course of action.
Along with Julie and Dee, that fearsome foursome gives the impression of running Reba.
Players swim, Brandon sinks
Jeez, this challenge looked fun.
The satisfaction of smashing a tile in mid-air and then falling deep into the ocean must be so satisfying.
One of the two.
It looked super fun.
Because there were strong arguments on both sides for this one.
The reason to go barefoot is because you will swim much faster that way.
The reason to wear shoes is that the balance beams would be easier with them.
So, like all the bestSurvivormoments, a choice had to be made.
And thus concludes the most annoying and useless paragraph of this week’s recap.
There are three other significant things to note about this challenge.
We’ll do the most important one first.
And that is obviously Kendra almost breaking her pelvis on the balance beam.
Raise your hand if you crossed your legs when that happened.
Now raise your hand if you still haven’t uncrossed them.
Still can’t believe she walked and swam!
away from this one.
(Should have worn the shoes!)
For the first time ever, a tribe cannot sit out the same player in back-to-back immunity challenges.
This rule has always confused viewers, and with good reason.
The rule was: A tribe could not sit the same person out of both in that one-episode cycle.
Not due to any reasons of fairness, mind you.
That is one of the building blocks of the show.
As is Probst’s play-by-play during such ineptitude.
I only half-know what “Put it in the deep freeze!”
means, and yet I still love it.
He was pounding Lulu for their performance at the end.
“A familiar result: Lulu is dead last.
Made no progress for most of that challenge.”
Not mean in the least, but accurate.
Calling it as it is.
Because Lulu once again failed, this time on the puzzle.
And once again, Brandon was to blame.
And the only question left was: What were his tribe mates going to do about it?
But before we get to that, just one other thing I want to hit on.
But one of the ways in which two tribes is better is when it comes to challenges.
The problem was the stakes were so low.
That would have been some serious edge-of-your-seat stuff if immunity was on the line.
Just putting that out there.
The main alliance of Kaleb, Sean, and Sabiyah couldn’t seem to agree.
Kaleb wisely wanted to keep Emily because he had made himself the closest person to her.
Sean also seemed to be leaning that way due to Brandon’s challenge performance.
Sabiyah, on the other hand, appeared to want Emily gone.
But Sabiyah didn’t have a vote due to the Beware Advantage.
And Emily had one last shot to shoot.
I checked with the Hostmaster General on this, and the answer is both yes and no.
Check out myinterview with Probstfor the full explanation.
For Brandon, it appeared to be the exact opposite.
As Iwrote last week,he wanted the fullSurvivorexperience.
The thing is, everySurvivorexperience is different, and that uncertainty and variance is what makes it so exciting.
And that’s exactly what Brandon did.
Not unlike the waterboy of a junior-high basketball team.
And we also have anexclusive deleted scene all cued up for youthat you’ll want to hit up.
It’s of Bruce!
Is he forcing Brando to watch him do the Macarena?
You’ll have to watch to find out!
), and I’ll be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!
