Plus: Updated season rankings!
We all know about theSurvivorcar curse.
Or maybe they were just terrible.
The cast of ‘Survivor 46’.CBS
Or perhaps a combination of the two.
But we have a new curse onSurvivor, everybody THE IMMUNITY IDOL CURSE!
The producers have always been very open and upfront about wanting idols to be played.
The cast of ‘Survivor 46’.CBS
(After all, thats why they put them out there.)
They want the drama of a big idol play and the chaos it creates.
They love the way it shakes up the game.
Charlie Davis on ‘Survivor 46’.CBS
They adore the way it hammers home the concept that pretty much anyone can go home at any time.
And then here comes theSurvivor 46cast, more concerned with Applebees and Q Skirts than big Tribal Council theatrics.
Seriously,Jeff Probstbrings them popcorn and licorice at Tribal Council andthisis how they repay him?
Kenzie Petty, Charlie Davis, and Maria Shrime Gonzalez on ‘Survivor 46’.CBS
But it hasnt happened because thatdoesn’thappen onSurvivor.
And they certainly did that with a very unique approach at this weeks Tribal Council.
I dont know, take a still life of the Snuffer?
Jeff Probst and the cast of ‘Survivor 46’.CBS
A nude portrait of the host?
(No, they already did that onTwo and a Half Men.)
Paint more random things onKenziesface?
Jeff Probst and the cast of ‘Survivor 46’.CBS
I have no idea!
But thats not what is germane right now.
Essentially, the edit turned the drama not into who was voting for whom.
The cast of ‘Survivor: David vs. Goliath’.CBS
It told you all of that.
They gave away the entire store for free!
Instead, the drama fully laid into whether Q would or would not play his idol.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Winners at War’.Robert Voets/CBS
If he didnt, he was gone.
If he did, Charlie headed to the jury.
They frontloaded all the intrigue into the one moment where Q had to decide whether to play it.
The cast of ‘Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen. X’.Monty Brinton/CBS/Getty Images
Once he didnt, it was on to mere formality.
I, however, will do no such thing.
Just the same ol same ol over here, everyone!
The cast of ‘Survivor: Cook Islands’.ABC
Same unhinged commentary mixed with annoying know-it-all-esque game observations from the never-ever wrong comfort of a constantly overheating laptop.
BRING IN THE BOAT!
One of my kids suffered from them for years and years and they are super scary.
Dee Valladares and Austin Li Coon on ‘Survivor 45’.CBS
It really sucks to see Ben suffering from so many sleep issues.
He has all my love and sympathy in the world for having to go through that.
You are an absolute legend!
Carolyn Wiger on ‘Survivor 44’.Robert Voets/CBS
This was some seriousJelinskys— right here.
I dont blame either of them.
yo dont ever tell anyone you are Pulling a Skupin.
Robert Voets/CBS
Just trust me on that one.
Brutal way to go (no pun intended).
Get em out and moving!
Timothy Kuratek/CBS/Getty Images
The reward challenge had players going over and under obstacles and then maneuvering a ball through a maze.
At least I think thats what it was.
Charlie had something else to celebrate as well a challenge win.
Monty Brinton/CBS
(More on that later).
But he and Maria had also done what I always say power duosshoulddo never take each other on reward.
It just makes sense.
Monty Brinton/CBS
It wasnt quite a Liz-quake, but it was still pretty heavy.
And it set up the big theme of the episode moving forward.
And that story being told was the conscious uncoupling of Charlie and Maria.
Bill Inoshita/CBS
Its not even all that rare forbothpeople in that duo to have the same idea.
I think shes dead serious on taking me to the final three.
I mean, adolphinpuzzle.
Sandra Diaz-Twine and Boston Rob Mariano of ‘Survivor: Island of the Idols’.Robert Voets/CBS
Maria tore through the course and was the first one to the puzzle.
However, she was overtaken there by Ben, who went on a crazy run putting his dolphin together.
But then, on his way to a clear victory, Ben apparently forgot what Kenzies name was again.
Or at least forgot how to put together a puzzle.
(Clearly, I need to workshop that one a bit more.
Like Ben, I blame it on a lack of sleep.)
It also kept her out of the line of fire for that nights Tribal Council.
At least thedirectline of fire.
Like, for fun?
Is this how you find out how to get Liz to open up about her lack of bowel movements?
And do these police officers give their suspects popcorn and licorice?
And if these police officersdogive their suspects popcorn and licorice, do they go Twizzlers or Red Vines?
Anyway, we all know what happened.
Okay, so where do we stand heading into the finale?
But her lack of a signature move could hurt her.
Read on and see!
‘Survivor’ Season-by-Season Rankings from best to worst
1.
AfterMicronesiaaired, I named it the bestSurvivorseason ever.
So then I returned that to the number one spot.
If I wanted to watch one season again, it would beMicronesia.
If you ask me which is the mostimportantseason, well, obviously it’sBorneo.
3.Survivor: Heroes vs. VillainsThe Russell vs. Boston Rob feud made for the best pre-merge run of episodes ever.
And the greatness just kept on coming.
Filled with huge memorable moments like Tyson voting himself off, J.T.
giving Russell his immunity idol, and Parvati handing outtwoimmunity idols at one Tribal Council.
I know many people would consider this No.
1, but it’s all returnees.
For me, the fresh blood ofMicronesiakeeps that season higher.
(Maybe not well at all times, but at least they were playing.)
moment to a truly exhilarating season.
That’s what it all comes down to.
And it’s not just Christian, who was one of the most universally loved contestants of all-time.
That is an amazing 9 out of 20 that I would easily welcome back on another season.
Often, that’s all a season needs.
And that really is first and foremost the reason Davidvs.
Goliathbecame an all-time great.
But there were other trophies to hand out as well.
The editing job done by producers was perhaps the show’s best ever.
They experimented with new techniques that served to freshen up the franchise in its 37th season.
They added comedic flourishes that were totally unnecessary yet improved the episodes nonetheless.
They cut back and forth between players and stories in ways they never had before.
A top 5 finish.
6.Survivor: Cambodia Second ChanceThe first thing to note aboutCambodiais how well all the production twists turned out.
Letting fans vote in the cast?
Hiding idols at challenges?
I think you all know how I feel about that.
Tempting people to quit an immunity challenge for a mystery vote steal advantage?
All the tribe switcheroos?
They played out to perfection.
TheSurvivorproducers always throw a bunch of twists out there.
Usually, some work and some don’t.
This season, they all paid dividends.
I also appreciated how hard the bulk of the cast was playing.
Usually, you get a small handful of big-time gamers.
Another plus: The votes were completely unpredictable from week to week, leading to some truly crazy Tribals.
Sure, the challenges were a bit blah, but still, a rousing and triumphant success.
(MaybePirate Masteris to blame for that?)
Obviously, there was a stellar cast with big personalities.
Fairplay not only pulling off the dead grandma lie but also getting drunk at Tribal Council.
Osten becoming the first person to lay down his torch.
Savage willing his tribe to win.
And Sandra getting in faces.
It was all delicious.
Some people, like Ben and Michele, had something to prove.
His return alone was one of the best reality TV stories ever.
Go back and watch it.
It’s amazing on both a technical and an emotional level.
And Tony Vlachos cemented his reputation as the most entertaining and dominant player of all time.
I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have a great winner on such an important season.
And itdidfeel special, even with its flaws.
I wish the show would shake things up like that more at the outset to keep contestants off-balance.
One of the best creative decisionsSurvivorever made was not panicking and reshuffling the tribes once Koror started dominating.
Also, I’d bring back Jolanda, Coby, Katie, and Ian back in a heartbeat.
Every single person added something.
That’s how you win a million dollars.
Possibly the least scenic camps inSurvivorhistory.
It just looked absolutely miserable.
And I still jump when Chicken gets voted out.
WhenMillennials vs. Gen Xstarted, most of us were like, “Yeah, it’s fine.
Not amazing, but not terrible either.”
But then things kept happening.
And everyone kept flipping on one another.
And everyone kept getting blindsided.
And everyone kept futilely using their idols for other people.
It was madness and chaos in the best way possible.
And what was so fascinating was that (with the exception of Michaela) nobody took their ouster personally.
This was a season remarkably free of any sort of fighting whatsoever.
None of the ugliness ofWorlds ApartorKaoh Rongpermeated the proceedings, even amongst all the lying and backstabbing.
Even Hannah was entertaining with her neurosis.
Even Ken was entertaining with his late-game cluelessness.
Bret gave us a touching moment where he came out as gay to Zeke.
Sunday outsmarted Adam and Hannah with a ruse at Tribal Council.
(However, I still can’t figure out why they went with three-person duels a.k.a.
truels and they definitely should have stopped RI at the merge.)
So why is it so high?
Because the casting and storylines that developed gave us people to root for and against something every greatSurvivorseason needs.
And that’s not all.
Seriously, that guy was straight gold in every episode.
BRING HIM BACK!!!!
There were some other problems early on as well, but what a difference a mutiny makes.
Then we had clearly defined people to root for and against.
There are other things to love as well.
Plus, just look at all the great first-time contestants (Parvati, Penner, Ozzy, Yul).
I love you, Billy.
But hear me out first before you Russell any feathers.
It was flat-out grating.
But everything post-merge was spectacular.
There were moves and countermoves galore down the homestretch.
Also, don’t overlook how great the bevy of water challenges was.
Should I push it down in the rankings due to the lackluster Reunion show that followed?
He was denied in the end, though, in the most controversial jury decision ever.
19.Survivor: TocantinsOkay, you may roll your eyes at Coach 1.0.
But imagine for a second this season without him.
His unintentional comedy single-handedly lifts this into middle of the pack territory for me.
However, the unlikely alliance between bookish northerner Fishbach and country boy J.T.
certainly made for a compelling thread throughout the season.
20.Survivor 45Let me say this first: This is the best produced season in the new era ofSurvivor.
But it wasntjustthe extra runtime.
Other creative flourishes, like the return of the new and improved auction, were home runs.
At least for now.
21.Survivor 46Survivor 46was not a perfect season, by any means.
(Obviously, if it was, it would be ranked a lot higher).
While there were plenty of blindsides, there were few (if any) pick-your-jaw-up-off-the-floor shockers.
If there was true next-level gameplay, it did not translate to the screen.
Confrontation is a good thing.
Probst also did his part,getting some of his bite backin interactions with the cast.
And, as always, this ranking could move up or down depending on what happens in the finale.
An all-time great character.
One of the most delightfully funny narrators in the show’s history.Frannie and Matt?
Arguably the most adorkable showmance couple ever.
The episodes also breathed well and did not get bogged down in too many advantages and idol hunts.
There was also more diversity in post-merge challenges, which was a plus.
So, with all that said, then why doesSurvivor 44just miss the top 20?
That’s just bad luck.
I know I was.
I have no big complaints about this season at all.
It was a totally solid entry for the best reality TV franchise on the planet… just not transcendent.
Shane Powers should have been brought back forHeroes vs. Villains.
And theSecond Chanceseason, for that matter.
Seriously, what the hell?!?
Get that guy back on TV.
But I still can’t figure out how/why Bob Dawg didn’t get a bigger and better edit.
That guy is an absolute gas, whether in or outside of Casa de Charmin.
The argument for ranking it lower would be the pure repetition factor.
Anytime you have a perpetual “been there, done that” feeling…that’s bad.
Especially when most of those twists and challenges were not great to begin with.
However, the producers did a much better job of editing and presenting that content.
25.Survivor 41This may be the hardestSurvivorseason ever to rank.
Let’s get to the bad before the good.
That’s not good.
Which was a shame because when allowed to, this cast delivered in a huge way.
Early boots like Brad and J.D.
That’s a hell of a lineup right there.
Not that I thought all the changes were bad.
26.Survivor: Ghost IslandThis was another hard season to rank.
This idea was used a few years later onSurvivor South Africa: Immunity Island.)
And then there is the ending, which also has plusses and minuses.
So again, both good and bad.
Like I said, a hard season to rank.
But the ending was fantastic, and I was engaged throughout, even with the noted weaknesses.
I liked watching Kellyn act like a super-spaz.
I was fascinated with the Laurel and Donathan strategic push-and-pull.
Throw that all together and you end up in the middle of the pack.
27.Survivor: Game ChangersWhat a weird season this was.
We were treated to two titans of the game (Tony and Sandra) going toe to toe.
But something was missing.
Said events were all exciting, but they failed to form a cohesive unit.
all gone before the merge.
And despite the gameplay and unpredictability down the stretch, that is kind of what happened.
And then there is what happened to Cirie in the finale.
(The fact that it happened to a true legend in Cirie made it even harder to swallow.)
But there is one thing I reallydiddig about this season, and that is the cast.
29.Survivor 43Seasons 41 and 42 featured really dynamic casts and some really wonky production wrinkles.Survivor 43flipped the script completely.
For the most part, the game flow either by design or sheer luck worked out really well.
But the cast, while extremely likable, were not super propulsive.
Where were the fireworks?
Instead, we got a lot more gauzy, reach-for-the-Kleenex backstory photo montages, but little sizzle.
I think this season sets a land speed record for number of times women call each other bitch.
Like, there is a staggering amount of bitch-related talk.
Its undeniably entertaining to watch so much open animosity.
The LeAnn blindside episode remains an all-time great installment.
But that stellar casting does not extend to the other sex.
But I have watched this season multiple times and still could not pick J.D.
out of a lineup from John and Brady.
And the whole I cant believe were losing to a bunch of girls!
angle feels a bit stale considering we had the same storyline three seasons earlier onThe Amazon.
But you were right, Eliza.
Its better than I remembered, and the new ranking reflects that.
31.Survivor: The Australian OutbackAn overrated season in my book.
Pretty predictable boot order as well.
Dude didburn his hands off, though.
And, outside of one mind-bogglingly boring loved ones reward contest, the challenges were strong.
But now comes the bad news.
Like the majority ofSurvivornation, I was not a fan of the new final four fire-making twist.
That was a bummer.
33.Survivor: Kaoh RongNot one of the best seasons ever; not one of the worst.
That’s always exciting.
Working against this season is the fact that there simply were not enough transcendent players in the cast.
That’s a problem.
That said, man, were there some hate-fueled fireworks at those final few Tribal Councils.
The fact that so many unworthy players went so far is simply too damning.
37.Survivor: Redemption IslandThe first three episodes were dynamite, but then the fuse blew out.
38.Survivor: AfricaSome great challenges.
Not that much else was great.
39.Survivor: Edge of ExtinctionFlat.
That’s the best word I can think of to describe the season.
At least give them a place where they can go in the water!
Rafe was good for a few laughs, though.
Especially on rope obstacles.
That counts for something.
42.Survivor: One WorldLook, I have total respect for Kim’s game.
Like Tom inPalauand Rob inRedemption Island, she excelled strategically, socially, and physically.
Unfortunately, that is really the only good thing I can say about this season.
And that’s too bad because I do think the “One World” concept was a solid one.
But, man, what a thoroughly uninspiring cast.
Speaking of awful creative decisions…
45.Survivor: NicaraguaIt’s way down here for a few reasons.
- Splitting the tribes up by age and theMedallion of Powerwere both enormous flops.
)Nicaraguahad just too many unlikable players.
Two people quitting with only 11 days left.
No big memorable moments.
Unfortunately, it was people quitting, and that was memorable for all the wrong reasons.
46.Survivor: Island of the IdolsI’m a guy who tends to be pretty analytical.
But even I recognize that when it comes to rankingSurvivorseasons, it ultimately comes down to a feeling.
But nothing seemed fun in light of the far more serious issue that clearly outweighed the final game result.
Quite simply: It made the rest of the season impossible to enjoy.
And so here it sits.
In the meantime, I’ll get to cooking up a truly supersized scoop of the crispy.
