Teeny takes a tumble as the game takes a trip to… Italy?
And there are so many perfect quotes to choose from.
And theres Teeny informing others that, I hope they enjoy the last supper.
Teeny Chirichillo and Sam Phalen on ‘Survivor 47’.CBS
And theres Teeny repeating Sam just quit the game over and over again.
Here’s Teeny asking Am I just a man-hater at my core?
CBS
I mean, lets give credit where credit is due.
Rachel LaMont, Genevieve Mushaluk, Teeny Chirichillo, Sue Smey, Sam Phalen, Andy Rueda, Caroline Vidmar and Jeff Probst on ‘Survivor 47’.CBS
It was almost suspicious how good Teeny was at that.
Like, has Teeny been practicing this impersonation in their spare time?
Because it appeared pretty fleshed-out and fully-formed.
Jeff Probst and the cast of ‘Survivor 47’.CBS
RELEASE THE TEENY TAPES, YOU COWARDS!
But thank you, Teeny.
Not just for that impersonation.
Genevieve Mushaluk on ‘Survivor 47’.CBS
And not just for dishing out some seriousSurvivor 46vibes with your personal grievances.
But thank you for not half-stepping with your assuredness of Sams seemingly imminent demise.
Its the little things like this that continue to makeSurvivorso compelling.
Sue Smey on ‘Survivor 47’.CBS
Now its time to continue with the rest of what I like to call… Operation: Recap.
Dirty Sue
FINALLY!
The biggest mystery ofSurvivor 47has been solved!
Rachel LaMont, Caroline Vidmar, Teeny Chirichillo, Sue Smey, and Andy Rueda on ‘Survivor 47’.CBS
No, not How does Andy get his hair to be so luminous on day 22 of the game?
Although that too is a mystery.
Seriously, get that guy on a Prell Shampoo ad pronto!
‘Survivor 47’ contestant Caroline Vidmar.Robert Voets/CBS
(Wait, does Prell shampoo still exist?
Clearly, I need to start washing my hair more.)
No, the mystery to which I refer is Sues face.
Why is it so dirty?!
Weve all seen it on the show and not really understood why.
Even Caroline this week was noting how her 45-year-old island bestie was getting dirtier and dirtier every day.
And now we know why!
And when I saydigging, I mean really getting in there, likeSolinto a reward feast potato salad.
But SEAMLESS TRANSITION ALERT!
So, you would vote for Rachel [to win] over me, is what youre saying?
That sounds like a threat, Teeny opined.
I say its not a slam dunk for you and you come back and tell me thats a threat?
Thats a f—ed up thing to say.
YES, MORESURVIVOR 46VIBES!
Surround sound
I admit it: I get fixated on certain things.
Things like correlating footwear decisions to water-challenge performances to ascertain whether free-feeters or covered-up contestants do better.
But another thing I have focused a lot on when watching challenges is… music.
Specifically, the music they play near the end of a challenge.
Again, I realize this issupergeeky, but its true.
Which is why this weeks reward challenge was such a delight.
I mean, there were a few things I liked about it.
I liked hearing Probst sound like he wanted to have sex with a crisp fresh Caesar salad.
I liked watching Caroline struggle to hop over the very first bar.
I mean… hedidwin the challenge, but not when I thought he would win.
Operation: Italy
Okay, lets get into it.
The plan was smart, no doubt.
But the smartest thing about it was giving it the goofy name of Operation: Italy.
Look, its all about branding.Big Brotherhas always understood this:Dans Funeral!Keeshas Birthday!
You immediately know what all of those things are.
Theres not even a shorthand for the franchises most famous moment ofErik giving away his immunity.
So kudos to Andy, Sam, and Genevieve for putting on their P.T.
Barnum top hat and considering the clear marketing possibilities of their move.
(Have the t-shirts and pillows been printed yet, guys?)
The chances of one person wanting to make a big splash and flipping are just too great.
Also and this is something that does not get talked about nearly enough Survivoris boring!
Not watching it, but playing it.
People just naturally want to shake things up.
It actually takes a lot of self-restraint tonotchase the shiny object of an exciting vote.
Of course, that issupereasy to say from the comfort of my Milwaukees Best-stained living room couch.
I liked it, though.
You know I liked it!
It had the players out and moving.
There was a misery montage of balls dropping… which again, is an unfortunate phrasing.
Really good stuff all-around!
If you want to fault Teeny for anything, its for not insisting on seeing the idol note.
Of course, there were others.
Rachel could have used her Block-a-Vote.
And Sue could have played her idol for Caroline, as she indicated she might do.
But Ive always been hesitant to blame people too much fornotusing idols and advantages.
Its too simplistic to say if you have something, you should use it.
As already stated, the decision to split the vote in the first place was the flawed game move.
Way too risky, especially with an already established wild card like Andy in the mix.
Which brings us to Tribal Council.
But I dont bring the jury up simply to bathe in the deep waters of Angry Kyle.
I bring it up for another reason.
Andy got the bulk of the edit credit for the Operation: Italy plan.
And we know from his confessionals that Andy fancies himself as quite the puppeteer.
But that doesnt really matter.
He said, That was Andy.
But the second part of Andy flipped again could be troubling.
I dont know this, of course.
But lets talk about someone else: Caroline.
Perhaps the cheeriest loser inSurvivorhistory.
Robert Voets/CBS
I found Caroline to be a fascinating player.
And I cant quite put my finger on it, but I did enjoy her confessional interviews as well.
For her voice has been extinguished just as clearly as her torch.
And now we are on to what we are being told is a two-part finale.
I dont really know what that means.
But I also know we now have 14 episodes total instead of 13.
So I guess that is a net positive of an hour.
What Idon’tknow is how many people are getting eliminated next week.
Do we go down from six players to five, or to four?
These are the things that keep me up at night.
These things and my cat, who started inexplicably snoring after having some teeth pulled.
SHE’S JUST LIKE GENEVIEVE!
!
