How’s this for a magic trick?
This week onThe Bachelorette, Charity sent one of her three final men home before the Fantasy Suite.
But by the end of the episode, shestillhad a trio of men vying for her heart.
Jesse Palmer hits the tropics on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Charity kicks off the final leg of her “journey” in Pacific Harbor, Fiji.
“It is so romantic!”
gushes Charity as she does the promotional-consideration-provided-by-walk through of her suite atthe Pearl Resort and Spa.
Welcome, Joshua and Makareta!.ABC
But first… it’sJesse Palmertime!
Pink linen for the win!
Short answer: Yes.
Charity makes a grand entrance on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
On to the dates!
Xavier is up first.
And Charity has come prepared.
Aaron doesn’t want this ‘journey’ to be over.ABC
Bring in the reinforcements!
“We are so happy to have you here with us today,” says Makareta.
She takes Charity aside to prepare her for today’s demonstration of a traditional Fijian wedding ceremony.
Oh, ffs dude.ABC
Okay, Xavier now you’re ready to receive your queen.
It’s all very special and beautiful, but it’s also quite serious which is making Xavier nervous.
“It’s pretty intense, I will say,” he admits.
Charity isn’t sure if Xavier is Fantasy Suite-worthy.ABC
“I still have a bit of fear because getting married is a huge responsibility.”
You are correct, sir, so don’t f— it up.
Hmmm, that’s odd.
Oh my GOD, stop talking, dude!.ABC
Why are we suddenly in San Diego?
Shouldn’t we be moving on to the evening portion of Charity’s date with Xavier?
What is the meaning of this, TeamBachelorette?
Charity and Joey hit the road on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Oh, hey Aaron.
Why are you packing a suitcase, bud?
Didn’t you just get back to San Diego?
Charity and Joey kiss on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
“I just got eliminated by Charity a couple nights ago after hometowns,” he says.
Hmmm… what “things” could Xavier possibly have to tell Charity at this point?
He starts off with some vague warnings.
Charity and Joey enjoy the morning after on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
And after some more hemming and hawing, he finally does.
“Another aspect that was very serious for me, thatisvery serious for me, is, you know…
Uh…” Spit it out, dude!
Dotun and Charity get their jet ski on.ABC
To quote Simone fromA Black Lady Sketch Show: THE SCREAM I JUST SCRUMPT!
Xavier, are you serious, bro?
Hell to the no.
Charity and Dotun share a smooch on the sandbar.ABC
Zero out of five stars.
“It was disrespectful.
It’s not the man that I am.
The l-bombs are flying!.ABC
And I know that for a marriage you cannot do that.
That’s why I felt the need to tell you because I thought you deserved to know.”
Oh really, Xavier?
These keys, LOL.ABC
You know that cheating is not okay in a marriage?
I’m sorry, rose lovers, but f— this guy.
And yet somehow… it gets worse.
No stalkers allowed.ABC
“I’ve experienced infidelity on and off for about six years,” she says.
“It literally breaks you.”
You don’t want to?
What the WHAT?.ABC
Guess who’s in charge of that, sir: YOU!
This is either an “I will” or “I won’t” situation.
“I just chose myself instead of choosing her,” he admits.
Charity is in a pickle on ‘The Bachelorette’.ABC
Hell yeah, queen!
“I was just in tune with like, ‘Okay, why am I doing this?'”
Yeah, he’s basically just saying random words and hoping one of them sticks.
Once again, folks, it gets worse.
Of course, his answer is terrible.
Charity cuts him off: “I’ll be damned!”
“It’s inexcusable for any level, are you kidding?”
No, he’s not kidding.
“Then you’re saying you’re good.
Is that what you’re saying?”
Xavier’s response: “I’m good, but it’s f—ing scary.”
Okay, fair enough.
Charity seems fairly satisfied with this answer, and she pulls out the Fantasy Suite date card.
But she’s got one more question before she’s ready to hand it over.
Can this be somebody who will maintain loyalty to me?"
She begins to cry.
“I want this for us.
I want this to work,” Charity continues, wiping away tears.
“I just need to know that you’re going to put in the work to make it work.
So… will you do that for us?”
If you thought Xavier couldn’t get any worse, rose lovers, you’d be wrong.
But what Xavier actually said isn’t much better.
“In my heart, there is not any f—ing doubt.
But in my mind, there is that doubt.
And for me to get to that point, it has to happen tonight.
I need to see more.”
I need to say it again, rose lovers: F— this guy.
In this instant, Charity is done.
“What do you oughta see?
she fumes in her confessional.
Yes, f— this.
And F— HIM.
Time to send this trifling jackass home.
I’m going to be selfish in this moment,” says our Bachelorette.
She picks up the date card again.
“I wish I could open this.
But it’s not happening.”
She says she’s “sad and disappointed,” but her decision is final.
“Let’s go,” she demands, standing up.
“Come on.”
As they stand by the Reject Minivan, Xavier tries to save himself one more time.
“you could put me in this car…” But Charity interrupts him.
“And I am!”
That’s right, dude!
And for God’s sake, try therapy.
The next day, Charity is still upset, but she is confident in her decision.
“I’m not here to fix anybody.
I’m not here to build a man.”
Amen to that, ma’am.
Now, on to your date with Joey!
Who doesn’t love a little ATV ride through the jungle?
Unfortunately, the ATV conks out just a few minutes into their ride.
Or just one of the many vicissitudes of life that couples in the real world face every day?
Either way, Charity is pleased with how chill Joey is about the whole situation.
They stroll to a little waterfall and take a seat on a rock.
To his credit, Joey doesn’t get defensive.
“I think I just felt a lot of pressure,” he says.
“And then him showing up… That’s the only way I can describe it.”
He seems genuine enough, especially in comparison to Xavier.
“I’m eager to tell Joey I’m falling in love,” she says.
“But I need to feel 100 percent sure.”
That’s the part that can be taxing."
But the Bachelorette appreciates his honesty and says she can relate to his self-doubt.
And she LOVES it.
I am in love with you.
It is the best feeling."
Dang, that’s huge!
but now my emotional pendulum is swinging back in the positive direction.
At this point, I believe Joey is genuine.
Anyhow, Charity gives Joey the Fantasy Suite card, and he accepts.
Cut to:
“I am in love with Joey!”
I’ll admit that I’m pretty surprised Charity went full “I love you” with Joey.
I thought she was saving that for Dotun.
But who knows maybe she’ll drop the L-bomb on the tall Nigerian sweetie during today’s date.
They zip around the waves and beach up on a sandbar for some champagne.
“My prayer life is very important,” she says.
“That moment with your mom was pure…
I literally love your family so much.”
Give Dotun’s parents their own show!)
“I thought about you,” he tells Charity.
“And I’m actually fine with that.”
Oh man, that is SO sweet.
Look out, Joey Dotun is coming for your frontrunner status!
“The scary part is that I’m not scared,” he says.
And she LOVES that love.
“And it feels so fricking good to say!”
For now, just bring on the old-timey Fantasy Suite key!
Of course, Dotun is on board.
Have a good night, you lovebirds.
The next morning, Dotun and Charity snuggle in bed for a bit before saying a sad goodbye.
“I’m so over these goodbyes…
I respect her decision to confirm all options are exhausted,” says Dotun.
“But it doesn’t feel good.”
Welp, it must be time for the rose ceremony, right?
Everybody put on your finest formal wear and…
There’s a bit of a situation at reception.
Oh, boy Aaron’s here, and he’s determined to track Charity down.
Yeah, she’s surprised.
Charity gets up and gives Aaron a hug.
“I can’t believe my eyes,” she tells producers.
Like, I’m excited to see him."
Once she regains her composure, Charity sits down with Aaron for some real talk.
“That’s really why I’m here,” he says.
“I want to know if you’ve been thinking about it as well.”
Short answer: Yes.
“I’ve been thinking about it every single day,” admits Charity.
“That does still stand that I don’t know if I made the right choice… On the one hand, I appreciate Charity’s honesty.
Do you agree, rose lovers?
But first, Charity needs time to think.
Aaandwe end on a cliffhanger.
We’ll have to wait to find out what Charity decides about Aaron.
Next week is the Men Tell All (a.k.a.
Until then, rose lovers, we’re left with a lot of questions.
First and foremost: How dare you, Xavier?
Also: Should Charity choose Dotun or Joey?
(Or, theoretically, Aaron?)
(True, and truly disgusting, story.)
Let me know your thoughts on Twitter@KristenGBaldwin.
The Bacheloretteairs Mondays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on ABC.
