I truly forgot how good this song is.
Anyhoo, remember Grant?
Look at this fashionable queen!
Bailey and Grant take a selfie on ‘The Bachelor’.Credit:ABC
Few people can pull off a turban, but Grandma Corine is making itwerk.
And those pink sparkly nails!
Ive just met this woman and now I aspire to be her in my old age.
Grant feels the beat on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Before he leaves Texas for the Bachelor mansion, Grant offers Corine his first-ever rose.
It just signifies my love for you, he says.
Youll always be my first impression rose, Grandma.
Grant’s father, Robert, on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Are you kidding me?
Am I seriously already tearing?
Were only at the five-minute mark.
Women toast to finding love on TV on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Pace yourself, Baldwin!
Im glad youre seeing me like this, Robert tells his son.
And my mother just put her head down and worked, he continues.
Litia gives Grant a bedazzled basketball on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
I dealt with a lot of my issues alone.
I am HERE for it.
Yep, Im crying again!
Allyshia and Grant on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
This may be the most effective (and yes, emotionally manipulative) Bachelor intro package ever?
Okay, no more genuine emotion!
Show us some ladies getting tipsy in a limo or something similarly trivial!
Linda the “no drama llama” arrives on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Grant arrives at the mansion, where hostJesse Palmerutters his contractually obligated welcome: Let the journey begin!
And with that, its time to meet all the single ladies (all the single ladies).
Out first isRose, 27, a nurse from Chicago.
Juliana and Grant eat a cannoli on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
I mean, she had to go with that pun, right?
Up next isLitia, a 31-year-old venture capitalist from Salt Lake City, Utah.
And she knows the way to Grants heart.
Linda throws some shade on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Im really bad at basketball, says Litia, presenting the Bachelor with a bedazzled basketball.
But if you bring the skill, Ill bring the sparkle.
She slow-dances with her dog and offers this self-deprecating gem: My last boyfriend was a DJ.
Chloie and Grant on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Like, a moment of silence, because HOW DUMB?
I hope I dont regret saying this, rose lovers, but I like her.
If were really lucky, says Allyshia, our wish might be Grant.
Bailey and Grant on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Shell be here all week, folks!
She gets a rose tonight.)
Its time for the best entrance of the entire night!
Neicey arrives on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Sadly, Linda is not here to find love with Grant.
Instead, shes just here to accompanyAlexe, a 27-year-old pediatric speech therapist from Canada.
I grew up in a small town on a farm, she explains.
Savannah comes bearing cake on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Both Linda and Alexe think Grant is very cute, and they both enter the mansion together.
Some of the women do NOT love it.
Is that allowed in here?
Vicky makes an entrance on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Natalie is also not super psyched, because a llama once spit on her.
Something tells us she deserved it, but what do I know?
To prove it, she makes him Lady and the Tramp a cannoli with her.
J’Nae, Alexe, and Chloie examine Zoe’s t-shirt on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Nothing like biting into a phallic pastry on television, right rose lovers?
Before Juliana heads inside, Grant warns her that theres a llama in the mansion.
she squeals, upon seeing Linda in the fuzzy flesh.
Zoe and Chloie on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Ive never seen a llama in real life!
Linda is not impressed.
You said it, girl.
Parisa’s creepy PowerPoint on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
When Grant goes in for a selfie, she instead orders him to take photos of her.
I feel like my life-long partner will know all of my angles, she chirps.
Because what man doesnt want to be treated like a glorified personal assistant?
Grant and Allyshia smooch on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Bailey does, however, allow the Bachelor to appear in one photo with her.
Get it???
Shell be here all week.
Taylor and her brother Grant on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
She, too, gets a rose.)
Hey look, theres a doctor in the house!
The producers should have told her Beverly already made that joke!)
Litia puts Grant on the spot on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Now theres a woman after my own heart.
One should NEVER miss a chance to have cake.
Clear a path, folks the party just arrived!
Jesse Palmer has big news on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Is she a bottle girl?
Dina asks with a smirk.
We listen and we dont judge.
Alexe schools Grant on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
And the t-shirts inside bear a message not just for Grant, but Zoes competition as well.
She is marking her territory!
You are correct, maam!
Savannah gets a rude awakening on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Side note: Im not loving all the boob-flattening bustier dresses in this episode.
Holy cow, were finally done with the limo exits and Grants in the house making his toast!
I want to be a husband.
Rose and Grant play with clay on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
I want a wife.
I want to be a father.
I want to have a family, he says.
Alexe gets the First Impression Rose on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Im here for love.
And this Bachelor knows that love isnt just about whirlwind helicopter rides and bungee jumping over waterfalls.
To me, love is the little things… A kiss.
Jesse Palmer and Linda on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
A conversation when you had a long day at work.
Grant says he learned these things from his mom, who signed him up for the show.
Awww, thats sweet.
Actually, its also kind of terrible.
But lets focus on the sweet part, I guess.
Time for the one-on-one chats to begin!
Bailey grabs Grant first, and once again, she makes things all about herself.
She has Grant put on a wig that matches her bob, and then they… take more pictures.
Allow me to repeat myself: NOPE.
The Bachelor giggles nervously.
You really did that!
She really did, sir.
When its Allyshias turn, she Opens UpTM about being raised by a single mom.
My moms an immigrant, she explains.
I watched her scrub floors and toilets to be able to send us to school.
Grant appreciates her candor and says hes attracted to her good heart.
(They also share a love ofThe Notebook.)
You know where this is going, rose lovers.
And our first kiss of the night is in the books!
And it does not go unnoticed by the other women.
Oh, they just kissed!
Oh, my God!
Well, hold on to your non-existent hats, ladies, because the Bachelor isnt done locking lips yet.
He and Juliana share a smooch after bonding over their love of music.
Honestly, is that a prerequisite now for these contestants?)
(These women all know that family is the key word with the Bachelor.)
I did not want to show up here and start crying, she frets with a laugh.
(SEE HOW EASY IT IS, GENTLEMEN?)
Another limo pulls up, and a tall woman in a black dress emerges.
Is that his ex-girlfriend?
one of them whispers.
Allyshia reports that the mystery woman walked in vagina-first, because she was on a mission.
kindly welcome our mystery woman…
Yep, its his gorgeous older sister, Taylor.
She proceeds to embarrass her sibling by showing the women a variety of pictures of him as a baby.
Taylor assures the assembled harem that Grant is there to find a soulmate.
Im really excited for one of you guys to be his wife, she adds.
Litia has a very important question for our I cant wait to be a dad Bachelor!
Thats right, Litia!
Put him on the spot!
Grant assures her that he also has a 2019 Acura, a.k.a.
a Dad car, so everythings on the level.
(Thats kiss number three, for those of you playing along at home.)
The lucky woman who receives the FiR will ALSO be guaranteed the first one-on-one date of the season!
What are you waiting for, ladies?
Alexe sits down with Grant and attempts to teach him some French.
They end the lesson with a kiss his fourth of the evening.
Grant must be impressed, because he rewards her with kiss number five.
I had to take a screenshot of her shocked reaction, which was priceless.
Why dont you cheer yourself up with a nice slice of cake?
The Bachelor LOVES it.
Still, their conversation ends without a smooch.
For some reason, she insists that they do it blindfolded.
Its almost like a Ghost moment, she explains.
I dunno, seems more like Eyes Wide Shut to me.
(Number seven of the night, to be exact.)
When all is said and done, though, only one woman can get that all-important First Impression Rose.
We had the most connection and spark, explains Grant.
I cant wait to get to know her.
And the lucky lady is…
Congratulations, Alexe!
And more importantly, congratulations to Linda the no drama llama!
Clearly, Alexe owes most of her success to you.
Way to do some speedy work, Grant.
And now, with no further ado, its time for this seasons first rose ceremony roll call!
We must also say goodbye to Linda, unfortunately.
I truly wish she could stick around all season to keep the no drama vibe going.
For now, rose lovers, let’s focus on the present.
How would you rate Grant’s first night as Bachelor?
Who are you rooting for?
And WHY DID NOBODY EAT THE DANG CAKE?
Post your thoughts below!
The Bachelorairs Mondays at 8 p.m. PT/ET on ABC.
