In Jasper, Alberta, Joey must cut his roster of potential wives from six to four.
The cold open gives us a preview of the moment Maria realized she is onThe Bachelor.
I dont know if I can do this anymore.)
Jesse and Joey on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Spoiler: She can.
and says he hopes this final week before hometowns will bring him clarity and confidence.
(Looks a little chilly for that, but okay.)
Joey and Daisy ride through Jasper on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Before the dates begin, hostJesse Palmerchecks in with Joey over a friendly game of tennis.
ABC
Im feeling good, man, says Joey.
But this is a very purposeful week.
‘Bachelor’ producers will honestly put a hot tub anywhere.ABC
Im not taking hometowns lightly.
Neither are the women.
I just hate feeling this way, she tells Maria.
Jenn is warm and weepy on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
I just have so much anxiety.
(Side note: Why is everyone still wearing their coats and puffer vests inside the lodge?
Going into his date with Daisy, Joey is hoping shell finally express how shes feeling about him.
Joey just wants all of Daisy’s love, guys.ABC
You see, all the other women have said some version of Im falling for you except for Daisy.
Will today be the day?
I feel like I need today to kind of understand how Im feeling, she admits.
Daisy secures a hometown date on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
I know I shouldnt be surprised, but producers have defiled this breathtaking landscape with a portable hot tub.
(I wonder what the permit situation is for something like this.)
The Bachelor urges her to stay optimistic, and then they smooch.
There isn’t enough Lactaid in the world to make this ok.ABC
She plans to be honest with him at dinner.
Stay strong, girl!
Dont fall prey to Bachelor groupthink!
Jenn steals a hug from Joey on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
Jenn, who is still wearing her puffer vest inside, is despondent.
Could someone yo crank the thermostat?
Or maybe peek if Jenn has a fever?
Maria just realized what show she’s on.ABC
Im sweating just looking at her.
Anyhow, that night, Daisy and Joey head toPapa Georges Restaurantfor dinner.
If Im being, like, 100 percent honest, she adds, I really, really like you.
No rose for you, ladies.ABC
But, am I there yet?
Oh man, poor Joey looks so crestfallen.
Dont give up yet, sir!
Give the graphics team a raise.ABC
I appreciate your honesty about it, says Joey.
I just know theyre gonna have some big questions for you, she says.
In other words…
Daisy, youve just locked in a hometown date!
Joey and Kelsey A. try to stay warm on ‘The Bachelor’.ABC
They end the night with a little ice hockey, because when in Canada… you know the rest.
The (relatively tiny) group date is all about enjoying the great outdoors.
I dont usually do the outdoors, she says.
Joey comforts Kelsey A.ABC
Im a little lost in this.
If Im not going to be with Joey, I would just rather be by myself.
Of course, all this practice leads to a contest: Joeys Ultimate Lumberjill Competition.
Jesse Palmer brings the room down.ABC
The winner gets a Timber Queen Extraordinaire log trophy, and, I guess, a good cardio workout?
The final challenge in the course is the Elk Milk Chug.
Im sorry, what does this have to do with being a lumberjill?
Our final four.ABC
Rachel is lactose intolerant and allergic to milk protein, but she absolutely refuses to lose.
Even though Joey and I are both gagging, Rachel manages to keep that thick stuff down.
(I hope she has a private bathroom in her hotel suite.)
She wins round one, but Kelsey T. wins the overall competition and gets the truly hideous trophy.
As Joey is in the middle of his post-competition confessional, Jenn walks up and interrupts him.
Im just going to steal you for a little good luck kiss, she coos.
Wait, good luck for what?
So… were the producers making Joey talk about the competition before it actually happened?
But whatever; reality TV has its own definition of reality.
Both Rachel and Maria witness Jenns sneaky kiss, and they do NOT love it.
I did not need to see that, mutters Rachel.
And Maria says the whole thing makes her sick to her stomach.
This is just too much, she grouses.
Jenns also never brought anyone home before, which makes the prospect of a hometown date more stressful.
Joey says her family dynamic doesnt scare him or change his feelings for her.
This makes Jenn feel better, and they smooch.
Its unclear, then, if Joey would meet him if he gave Kelsey T. a hometown date.
One thing is certain: Kelsey is deeply infatuated with her Joey-Joey.
I know how my heart feels, and it feels full when Im with you, she says.
The Bachelor LOVES it, and they smooch.
And then its Marias turn.
[Last week] changed everything for me, says Maria.
I just cant hear and know that you feel just as good or better with [other] women.
I cant do it anymore.
Joey tries to assure her that he truthfully cares about her, but it falls on deaf ears.
So, is this it?
Is it something that your mind is made up?
Because it feels like it might be.
Maria nods her head and whispers, I think it is.
Spoiler: Its not.
Maria leaves the room to cry and vent her feelings to an unseen producer.
I only want to be with him, she says through her sobs.
I just dont like that I cant say hes mine.
Meanwhile, poor Joey can feel his proverbial walls going right back up.
Im questioning everything, he says with a sigh.
After a few minutes, Maria returns and now her mood is penitent.
I just had a little moment, she says.
I might have, I dont want to say overreacted, because its just truthfully how I feel.
Maria credits her behavior to being scared, and basically implies that now she wants to stay.
Joey, too, has some reservations.
I need someone thats in it, fully, he says.
I dont need an apology.
What I need… is you feeling like you’ve got the option to still be here.
Of course she can, silly!
Maria informs Joey that she wont kiss him tonight because he needs to learn his lesson.
Then she smooches him.
“You are all over the place, woman,” says the Bachelor.
He’s not wrong!
Well, Joey, are you ready to hand out the date rose?
I need more time, says the Bachelor.
Welp, okay then.
Its time for the final one-on-one date of the season.
Kelsey A., youre up!
Joeys looking forward to an easy, drama-free day as he and Kelsey A. stroll around exploring Jasper.
They hit the souvenir shops, grab some hot cocoa, and play some pool at theWhistle Stop Pub.
Its called the Polar Bear Plunge.
This franchise loves to dip its contestants in subzero waters, doesnt it?
(Somewhere,Tierra is still shivering.)
Kelseys very excited to try it, but Joey is hesitant.
I dont got a lot of meat on these bones, he says.
So, I get cold pretty easily.
High-pitched squealing and shrinkage, LOL.
Good luck with all that, Joey.
I dont do well in the cold, frets the Bachelor.
And its f—ing cold.
Thats the whole point, buddy!
Love is like submerging your meat sack in a painfully frigid lake and hoping you dont die.
Three… two… one… plunge!
I cant breathe, pants Joey.
(This is stupid!
bellows an off-camera plunge participant.)
Joey and Kelsey clamber out of the water and take refuge in a little outdoor sauna.
Dinner takes place indoors.
Joey and Kelsey talk about her potential hometown date.
Shes hoping he will meet her dad and all four of her siblings.
Oh, its time for Joeys patented Tear WipeTM everybody drink!
The Bachelor says hell only propose if he has zero doubts, and Kelsey LOVES it.
Go on, Joey give her the hometown date rose!
Oh boy, now two of the four roses gone.
Its a make-or-break moment, ladies!
Hey, look whos here!
Its Jesse Palmer, Host.
Our man does not need a butter knife to deliver bad news.
For whatever reason, Joey has canceled the cocktail party.
Its all over but the crying, rose lovers.
Who will join Daisy and Kelsey A. in the Circle of SafetyTM?
The other women do NOT love it.
I see something in what this can be, he says.
But the last time I left you, you were on your way out…
I want to feel confident that you want to be here.
Maria once again insists that her meltdown was the result of her insecurities getting the better of her.
I like you, a lot, she says.
Im here, and I want to be here.
Time for a rose ceremony roll call?
Yes, lets do it.
And your final four are…
So sorry, Jenn and Kelsey T., but your journey ends here.
Aw man, I really liked Kelsey T., too.
Shed make a good Bachelorette, IMHO, but I think shes going to have a lot of competition.
And Jenns right somebody else will be more than happy to be her person.
Holy cow, its almost hometown time!
Were you surprised Joey sent Jenn and Kelsey T. home?
And would you rather do a polar bear plunge or chug a glass of elk milk?
Let me know your thoughts on Twitter@KristenGBaldwinor on Bluesky at@KristenGBaldwin.bsky,social.
