Sometimes, the star is at his best when he’s not the main event.

And they’re right of course, to a point: At a certain Mt.

(Anderson was inspired, reportedly,by O.G.Gameguy Ross Jeffries.

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Peter Sorel/New Line/Kobal/Shutterstock

Andtaaaamethe c—!"

like both his life and his spotlight in aTucker Carlson infomercial for manhooddepended on it.

All those signature Tom charms the swoop of hair, the can-do grin have been weaponized, metastasized.

Editorial use only. No book cover usage. Mandatory Credit: Photo by Dreamworks Llc/Kobal/Shutterstock (5885809bb) Tom Cruise, Matthew McConaughey Tropic Thunder - 2008 Director: Ben Stiller Dreamworks Llc USA Scene Still Comedy Tonnerre sous les Tropiques

Dreamworks Llc/Kobal/Shutterstock

It’s also a little bit disconcerting how physically gorgeous he still is,hotel-samurai ponytailaside.

Well, if he must.